It’s been awhile…

Woke to the sound of downpour this morning but the sky is now brightening a little in ombre shades of mauve and blue grey.  Ah November,  last gasp of autumn’s splendor.

November is a welcome month this year.  It marks the three-month point of my twenty-three year old daughter’s recovery from a sudden, unprovoked deep vein thrombosis and pulmonary embolism.  I spent much of late summer and early fall learning everything I never wanted to know about blood clots.  Like many parents, I’ve gone through some difficult things with my kids, but this one pretty much took the cake.  I still can’t quite write about it without a sweep of panic.  Things are ok now, we’re adjusting to a new normal that includes life long blood thinners. I’ve never been so thankful for the progress of science and medicine, for kind, philosophical specialists and for healing.

Learning to breathe again, to not live in constant fear, to allow the larger the world to return to focus is continuing to be a process.   Striving to ‘become something‘ (an art conservator, a graduate, whatever) no longer seems as essential as simply being and being present when it matters most.  I read a lovely thing this morning written by French philosopher and Nobel prize-winning author, Albert Camus.

“When you have once seen the glow of happiness on the face of a beloved person, you know that a man can have no vocation but to awaken that light on the faces surrounding him. In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.” ― Albert Camus

Happy Fall.  Happy Winter.  It’s nice to be back.

camus

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8 thoughts on “It’s been awhile…

  1. I’m glad you’re daughter is better. You have every reason to be very, very concerned. I lost my daughter to DPV and pulmonary embolism at the age of 32. It’s nothing to play around with. Her condition was caused as a side-effect of a psyche medicine she was taking. Beautiful quote. I think I may steal it for one of my future “golden quotes”.

    1. I’m so sorry to hear about your daughter. I can not imagine… My daughter presented with a sore, swollen leg that was misdiagnosed several times over three weeks before finally being recognized as a dvt. We were fortunate to be in Edmonton at the time, where there’s a world class Thrombosis & P.E. clinic. Even so, it was a terribly unsettling experience.

      I love the Camus quote. You go ahead and steal it. I did also. 😉

  2. I know the theoretical “why” he signed this thusly but I cannot but imagine that anyone who is willing to pen such a confident affirmation, and was someone from that school of thought, must have had a sardonic grin on his face a he wrote. Camus was keenly aware of his own frailty and would have probably admitted he spent a great deal of his life trying to live up to his own philosophy. Must of us know what it’s like to have moments of great resolve fall into puddles of regret. Life is hard and it gives me a little more hope when someone can be so honest, yet still hope.

    1. I spend a great deal of my life trying to live up to my own philosophy also. I love that Camus signed, “falsely yours”. It might be my favourite part.

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